“The only thing we have to fear is
fear itself –
nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to
convert retreat into advance.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt
FEAR STEALS YOUR DREAMS:
Our society today preys on the fear factor. Fifty percent of the advertisements we’re exposed to every day are designed to scare us. Think about these kinds of ads for a minute. Life insurance, stolen credit cards, tires that grip the road for safety in the rain, brakes that stop in the nick of time before hitting an innocent child riding a bike, security systems for your home. It’s no wonder we’ve become so conditioned to fear. The media warns us about using an ATM machine at night, about guns being used in schools and about the constant threat of terrorism. With all of this fear placed in our daily lives, does it surprise anyone reading this book that you have conditioned fear? I think that the number one reason people do not break out of their comfort zones is fear. Fear is the greatest inhibitor of the human spirit. Do you have a boss who uses a threatening management style, such as combining intimidation tactics with ridicule? Fear robs us of happiness, contentment, and joy in our everyday lives. It is the root of every negative self-belief we have. Since the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling are the only two fears we are born with, every other fear we have has been learned. I suppose the silver lining to this is that if a fear can be learned, it can be unlearned and overcome. Fear is subjective however, and for most of us, our fears are much bigger in our own minds.
The greatest fear, for most of us, is the fear of failure. If you fear failure, you have no choice but to accept mediocrity in nearly every important area of your life. You fail as soon as you quit. Your vision, hope, and ultimately your achievements all suffer as a result. I look at failure as an opportunity to grow. Some of my biggest “so called” failures have led me to some of my greatest successes.
Fear, like negativity, is a contagious condition. It is the opposite of faith. Fear is the substance of things you don’t hope for, whereas faith is the substance of things you do hope for. In fact, for many of us, it’s a condition passed on from generation to generation. That’s why it is incredibly important to stop the vicious cycle, once and for all. Fear is defined as an emotion that can be: (1) very healthy, helpful, and even lifesaving, or (2) very destructive, emotionally paralyzing, and even deadly. One little word with so much meaning! Of course, good fear is that which teaches us, as children, not to touch a hot stove or play with fire. As we got older, fear taught us to obey the law and to live our lives within certain acceptable boundaries. So in that sense, good fear should not be ignored or unlearned.
Of course, the fear that holds us back is, what I refer to as thieving fear. It steals from us, and sometimes we never even knew it was there, until it was too late. Sometimes, fear sneaks into our brains in the middle of the night and grabs all of the positive thoughts we have right from us. It’s like the grinch! Meanwhile, we start to believe our fears. I loved the analogy that’s been used so many times of the true meaning of fear: F.E.A.R.= False Evidence Appearing Real. That’s another way to look at it. What fears are holding you back? It is a fear of failure? Fear of succeeding? Whatever your fears are, for most of us, not ever trying is the real culprit that stops us from reaching our goals. Fear limits us in every way. It leads us down a path of self-deprecating beliefs and behavior, which in turn produces guilt, anxiety, and, for some of us, total immobilization. It erodes our self-esteem, corrupts our self-confidence, and over time, leads us to believe this false evidence. Writing down your fears will help identify what’s holding you back and will make them less intimidating, when you see them on paper.
EXERCISE: Write down any fears that are holding you back. Get committed to overcoming these fears.
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written by Jason Boreyko
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